I-L-L-O-G-I-C-A-L-I-S-M

Will my Prince Charming pleeaseee bring me there?

2005-10-06T00:16:00.000+08:00

Will my Prince Charming pleeaseee bring me there?

Colloseum

Or may be..

Trevi Fountain

A legend says if you toss a coin over your shoulder into the fountain, you will return to Rome some day. Haha.. =)

Bo liao... http://www.cyborgname.com/

2005-09-10T02:04:00.000+08:00

Bo Liao http://www.cyborgname.com/

By the way...

2005-09-08T04:48:00.000+08:00

By the way...

This was what silly Wilson did 12 days before Valentine's day. Rochelle's name was Rachel.

Hey Rochelle, if you are looking at this and eating at the same time, sorry to spoil your appetite.

I HATE YOU WILSON

2005-09-08T03:48:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU WILSON

I was surfing through friendster. And all of a sudden this person's name came into my mind.

W I L S O N ( In the centre )

Throughout my 23 years in life, I have never hated anyone as much as this *******. I do not know how to put in words why I hated him so deeply. But I sure know when it all started...

About a year ago, when I started clubbing

By chance one fateful Saturday at New Asia Bar aka NAB, I bumped into an ex-sec school mate. Someone whom I would never expect to meet in a club. I guess if any of my schoolmates spot me clubbing they will also be equally shocked because I also do not look like the kind who club. Whatever.. That ex-schoolmate was Wilson by the way. I was so happy to see him because I found that it was exciting to meet someone you had not met for a long time.. somemore at a clubbing place. We had a nice chat, catching up and exchanged phone numbers. He promised to let me know if he was coming down to NAB again so that we could club together. Before we parted, I asked if we could have a goodbye hug.

* H U G Z *

A few weeks after that fateful Saturday

He did not call or sms me that he would be at NAB since that day we met. Never did I expect to see him again for at least 3 or 4 times while clubbing at NAB. But I wasn't that turned off that he did not inform me about that, in fact I still tried to be friendly with him. But I could feel that he was trying to avoid me.

He knew it and gave me a direct answer.

He knew that I had feelings for him. (OMG, did I just say that I liked him before?? P U K E !!! ) He smsed me with a direct ( but awkwardly polite ) reply that it would be better to stick to what we were. I accepted it but did not want to give up so easily.

His target was Rochelle

Rochelle once got very close to Wilson, though she knew my feelings for him. She knew that I would not be jealous, because she was only close to him for a reason. It was to spite another person. Anyway no elaboration on that as it would be too long to explain.

But Wilson got the whole idea wrong. He thought Rochelle was interested in him. So he started to go after her.

The hatred began

Gradually I discovered how ******** Wilson could be. On the outside, he looked like a gentleman who always knew how to spare a thought for others and take care of people, especially women. But behind all his gentlemanly actions towards me, there was an obvious motive. He was making use of me to get close to Rochelle. He started being friendly to me again after that direct sms. He asked me many questions online regarding Rochelle's background. In front of Rochelle he was nice to me. When Rochelle was not around, he was another person. That's when I started to hate him. I had never come across a person so fake like him before.

Actually I was not sure if that was the main reason I hated him. I was confused actually. I liked him yet he went after my closest friend. Maybe I could not take the fact. Maybe it was out of jealousy that made me decide to hate him

Rochelle never liked him

Having seen his true colours, I warned Rochelle not to even consider him as a potential partner.

"Nah, don't worry. I won't fall for a person like him."

But look at what silly Wilson had done on his blog.

Ermm.. Picture can't seem to be uploaded. Will try again later.

Conclusion

All the while Wilson was just being a fool. You may think that he deserved some sympathy because he could not get the girl he wanted despite putting in effort. My foot. I think I can only say "serve you right". Anyway Rochelle is happily married now. You will never get a chance again.

The difference between honesty and frankness

2005-08-30T01:15:00.000+08:00

The difference between honesty and frankness

From my previous previous post, you all should know that something real terrible had happened to me. So far only one kind soul bothered to ask me what happened. The rest either did not read my blog or are jus simply "bo chap". It's ok, even if you ask me I may not tell you anyway, so never mind.

Let's just call this terrible matter ***.

Actually there are still people who care for me lah, those who do not know about *** do ask me about my life related to *** at times. But then I really do not know how to answer them leh. I feel like telling them *** had happened to me, but then I do not wish to invite questionings after they know it.

"How come *** happen?"

"Why *** happen?"

Duh... if I knew why, I would not be feeling so sad til now. (But even if I know the reasons I think I will feel equally sad lor.)

This dilemma leads me to a something "chim" that I had shared with an ex-close friend (means now not close anymore, I can't even remember his birthday liao) of mine a long time ago.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HONESTY AND FRANKNESS?

I had been rather bo liao to do a deep analysis of these two English words when I can actually get the answer from a simple dictionary. Or just go www.dictionary.com to check out. But what I was searching for was a deeper meaning to the difference. So here is my analysis.

I shall change the question to "what is the difference between dishonesty and unfrankness?", because it's easier to explain with that.

Dishonesty = Telling a lie.

When someone asks you a question which you know about the truth, and you choose to answer with something which is not true, you are lying. And that's dishonesty.

Unfrankness = Unwillingness to share the truth with someone you are close to.

When someone close to you (which means this person has the right to know the truth from you) ask you a question, and you say, "I do not wish to talk about it/ answer your question", or simply keep mum, you did not lie. But you are not frank.

To those people who do not know about ***, I will not feel bad about not telling them about *** because they are not close to me (at least not close enough for me to be willing to share such a personal matter). I am just not being frank enough, but I am not being dishonest.

Get it? No? Forget it.

Tired me

Yawnz.

Wahaha.. Let me boast about myself.. Brag, brag, brag...

2005-08-28T00:52:00.000+08:00

Wahaha.. Let me boast about myself.. Brag, brag, brag...

Today I shall brag... By the way, I'm a Leo woman... here it goes...

Leo ( jul23- aug22):

Compatible With:

Very Good: Sagittarius, Pisces, Cancer, Aries, Scorpio, Leo

Good: Gemin, Virgo

Leo woman is a born leader. ( I don't think I can lead well )

Sentimental. ( Am I ? )

Generous. ( Depends leh )

Dignified. ( Maybe )

Strong. ( Yes )

She enjoys sports. ( True, Don't play play, I was a cross-country school runner hor. )

She spends a lot on dressing. ( Erm, if I am rich maybe I will )

She is very faithful.
( Definitely, I am born in the year of Dog somemore, how can I not be loyal? )

She needs appreciation. ( Perfect ! )

As a mother, she is generous, affectionate as well as strict and a disciplinarian.
( I am not a mother yet, I won't know. But I think I will definitely be strict and a disciplinarian )

She is also a good career woman and will balance her home and career with perfect aplomb.

( This one I am also not too sure leh, cuz I am not a career woman yet, and I don't know if I will ever be that one day, I never aspire to be one anyway. Er.. what's aplomb by the way? )

Summary : Wo (3) shi (4) zui (4) bang (4) de (-)

Aeons since I last blogged

2005-08-26T02:52:00.000+08:00

Aeons since I last blogged

Hmmm.. It's been so long since I blogged, what should I start to write about? Grrr...

Work

I'm not happy with my work, honestly. Due to many reasons I can't mention here. People who know me well will know why. For those who just happen to pop by, sorry I can't say much here.

My birthday

Hmph.. it's over for almost a month. It was the best and worst birthday for me. Best because I received the most number of sms greetings. It shows that there are people out there who still remember my existence and bother to wish me well. Thanks.

Worst because I received the most unwanted birthday gift. You must be thinking, what? Something bad right? "Bad" is a word too positive to describe it. Well, I can't think of a more negative word, so I shall use bad.

What do you mostly not wish for as a birthday gift?

Fill in the blank . . . . . . . . . . .

( Never mind if you don't understand what I am writing below, I just need a space to let it all out ) .

I'll never forget this date 31st July 2005 11 something pm.

N E V E R !!!

That's when the bad news came. Til now it still lingers in my mind.

As usual only Rochelle knows the details as to what happened on that day. I can only say that I was supposed to compromise about something but I didn't due to complicated reasons. ( Self-protection, principles, no assurance etc.) I seldom regret on things that I do or decisions I make. But this time round I really regret. If I knew that compromising was the only way to prove, if I could turn back the clock, I would have done so. And looks like I don't have a chance to prove again.

I met up with Rochelle on the following day ( and that's my birthday ), trying very hard to hide my sorrow. But I failed. I felt so bad to have wasted all her time the whole day cuz all I did was keeping real quiet the whole day. Sorry Rochelle. Those words were still ringing in my mind. I was so occupied, asking myself the same question countless times. Why? Why? Why? It was supposed to be my birthday, I was supposed to be happy. But I can't be.

I went to meet up with some colleagues in the evening for my favourite karaoke session. I acted as though nothing had happened to me. "Smiling" and "enjoying" myself. Those colleagues who are reading this, please do not ask me how I can act so well. Because I also don't know.

I don't know how I actually pull through this ordeal til now. Or did I get over it yet? Sometimes I really "pei fu" myself for knowing how to put up such a brave front although something so terrible had happened. Nobody knows and understands how terrible I felt.

If you really want to know what had happened to me that was so so so terrible, come personally to me and ask. Depending on whether I am close to you, I may reveal a bit.

I think I am getting you all impatient. Let me change the topic, make it not so gloomy.

------------------------

Upcoming competition

Everyone please wish me good luck. I need a lot of luck. I am on my way to win $6 000. I must pay $30 first as an "entrance" fee. Again if you want to know what is this all about, come and ask me personally. I don't want to say it here. I don't want to give others a chance to mock/laugh at me.

Aiyah, just wish me good luck. It may be a turning point in my life.

Best of luck to myself,

Deeply hurt soul

Roller-coaster Saturday

2005-07-16T20:03:00.000+08:00

Roller-coaster Saturday

Oops, almost overslept today. As usual. Quickly changed into what I wore at Rochelle's ROM. Michael said I looked good in that. Actually had wanted to put on a bit of make-up to surprise him, but sorry no time. Hehe..

7:15 am

Stormed my way to the road junction outside 7-11 to hail a cab down to Khatib Mrt, Michael was fetching me from there.

7:25 am

Alighted from the cab and didn't see Jasmine there. Huh? Was this the small side road Gary was talking about? Aiyah, heck care lah, just wait. They would call me if they didn't see me around.

7:30 am

How come they were not here yet? Decided to call Michael. Jasmine answered and said that she saw me already. Which meant they were coming. Phew.. I didn't not make a blunder . Hopped into Michael's car shortly. His wife was also around. What? Did I hear wrongly? They were still using chalkboard in SNGS? Freak, I brought along my markers for nothing. Urghh.. I've never used chalk to teach before. Well, my handwriting was gonna be ugly. Whatever..

7:45am

We arrived at SNGS primary carpark. Mandy was there already. Madam Joy and Mark came shortly. Michael showed them their designated classrooms first. Cuz only Joreen and my class starts at 9am, the rest at 8:15am.

8:10am

Michael showed me to the classroom I was supposed to conduct my lessons for the next 8 weeks, 4 Grace. No one was there yet. Duh.. class only commenced at 9am, who would come so early? Decided to stay in the class to do marking til the students arrived.

8:45am

Calanthea came first. Followed by (not in order) .. hmm let's see if I can remember their names..

Isabel, Grace (who had a striking resemblance to Tifanny from ACJC), Sarah, Cheryl, Peishan, Soccha, Tifanny, Clista, Maisie and oops can't remember one more, never mind.

9:10am

Class began. Tried to act professional. But well, still need brushing up I guess.

11:05am

Class ended. Joreen was not done yet. Shall not wait for her. Decided to head down to the family lounge first to meet up Michael. Gary was there with food. Thanks.

11:15am

Joreen came down. Without her stuff. Chatted a while. Then she went up to bring down her stuff.

HERE COMES THE UNEXPECTED ROLLER-COASTER. (I call it the roller-coaster cuz it was ups and downs to me).

11:20am

Joreen was back. Was making her way down the stairs to the canteen when ...

Trip.. fell.. knelt down..

I saw it all. I was waiting to see her get up. But seconds went by.. why was she not standing up still? Something was very wrong. Mandy rushed to her side to help her up. I reacted shortly to help her carry her stuff. Pain was written all over her face.

Finally she was helped to a nearby bench to sit down. She had a bad sprain.

She called her brother to come and fetch her. (I didn't know about it at first.) Then SUDDENLY..

Eyes rolled back.. B L A C K O U T!! (All these I saw it with my very own eyes).

I was so stunned that I did not know how to react. Again Mandy was the first to rush to her side to hold on to her before she banged her head on the table.

She looked like she was gonna puke but nothing came out.

And just as sudden as she fainted, she woke up. (By the way this was the first time I've seen someone fainting right in front of my eyes, and I hope that I will never get to see that again cuz it's simpy an unbearable sight to me).

Her brother arrived shortly to get her stuff into the car first. I walked up to her and asked many questions. Did you eat? Did you have enough sleep? What time did you sleep yesterday? Did you over-stress? ... ( I guess Joreen must be damn irritated at that time. WTH, I'm already feeling so horrible liao you still ask so much ). But I was truly worried mah. She explained that it was cuz of due to the excruciating pain at her injury that caused her to black out. I took her words.

Her brother helped her to the car and they left.

11:55am

Jasmine, Gary and I left in Mandy's car back to Yishun.

12:15pm

Just nice. I was not late for my class. But talked to my p2 students and their parents and wasted 5 mins

1pm plus

I finally had a chance to tell Michael what had happened. He called her while I got back to my class.

Afternoon time

I finally found out from Michael that she's okay. P H E W ...

5:30pm

I called Joreen. Asked her how she was. Talked about what happened today. She thanked me. Don't mention lah. I did not even do much. Well, too stunned to know how to react. You should thank Mandy. Salute Mandy!

7.00 pm plus

Back home after dinner. Typing blog..

What a day..

Traumatised me

2005-06-30T09:57:00.000+08:00

My future hubby??? Maybe..

All about understanding.

2005-06-26T23:15:00.000+08:00

Thoughts of the months

Understanding

Recently I came across this statement from a book at Borders. It says,

"Women will never understand men and men will never understand women, and that's what men and women will never understand."

Sounds chim? Abstract? Not really.

I agree to the above statement. It's not 100% possible for a woman to understand men's thoughts and actions, simply because a woman has never been a man. And vice versa.

I realise one thing about understanding. You can't say that you understand so-and-so's situation unless you really have been in his/her shoe before.

Consideration

Consideration and understanding are close buddies. Consideration as in think or imagine how a person will feel as a result of your actions. Always ask yourself whether you like those feelings. If not, then others won't like it either. Therefore don't carry out that action. If you go ahead without considering how others feel, then I would say you know very well the consequences but that's the result you want.

"Spiticism"

And the result is to spite people. And the best way to spite people is to talk using unfriendly harsh tones, not look into the person's eyes, or say something sarcastic that will cause the listener to feel "the lost of face" immediately.

Wow, I seem to be an expert in "spiticism". How do I know so much? That's because I constantly receive spites, and I analyse them. If you ask me if I ever spite others, the answer is yes. To counteract with "spiters", spite them when necessary to let them know that hey, my mum did not bring me to this world to give you a chance to insult me in this way.

Another way to counteract with "spiters" is to ignore the spites. Some people think that it's a silly act because you are like telling that "spiter" hey go ahead and throw me rotten eggs. I don't mind. But some people throw rotten eggs at you because they want to piss you off and are waiting for you to react. If you react and throw rotten eggs back at them, you fall into their trap. So my approach is, the more you expect me to react and start a crossfire, the more I won't. Why should I grant the person who throw rotten eggs at me a wish? So undeserving.

Consolation

How do you usually console a person who is feeling upset/angry or whatever feeling that needs consolation? A common way is,

"Hey don't be angry/sad/whatever feeling lah. Cheer up!"

Gosh, how can you ask a person who is feeling angry/sad/whatever feeling at one moment to suddenly not feel so in split seconds? Those of you who use the above line to console others, let me tell you. You are not consoling, you are making the person feel worse.

The way to console a person is to listen to him or her first. Let him/her express everything in his/her mind first. You will be surprised, as after listening to all that, your friend or whoever you are consoling would have felt much better already. In the process of listening, you can say out your comments. But make sure it will not cause further irritation and most importantly, don't talk more than listen.

Nobody taught me what I wrote above. I gained all that through the observations of people. I love to observe people and their actions. Analyse them and you can derive a number of useful tips about human relationship.

Tired, yawnz

Cobwebs hanging at the corner

2005-06-07T10:09:00.000+08:00

Cobwebs hanging at the corner

Ya, I have not been blogging for half a month. Dunno wat to write about ma. Now I can see some cobwebs at the corners, mushroom sprouting, crap!

Look forward to my next entry, cuz I have something to write about myself. So wanna know more about my personality change, what I have gained and lost in my life so far, what kind of lifestyle do I look forward to, what I would do to achieve it, tune into ... (sounds like perfect 10 right ?) Aiya, stop being long-winded. ( my next entry will be long though) There you go again.

Just type http://baoxian82.blogspot.com in the Address box can liao. Ciaoz.. =)

An Excuse to Lie

2005-05-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

An Excuse to Lie

One day, a woodcutter's axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared, and retrieved a golden axe and then a silver axe. The woodcutter said they were both not his.
The Lord then retrieved an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter said,"Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep.

One day, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and got Jennifer Lopez from the water.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord said, 'That is an untruth!'

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me. If I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, you'll come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. If I also say 'no' to her, you will come up with my wife. I will say 'yes' and then all three will be given to me. I am poor and I'll not be able to take care of three wives."

The moral of the story is whenever a man lies, it is for an honourable and useful reason.

Adapted from The New Paper 16th May 2005

My comment : Is this yet another excuse for Man to lie?

thE qUEEn trULy mIsses bLAdE!!! (pArt thrEE)

2005-05-11T01:08:00.000+08:00

thE qUEEn trULy mIsses bLAdE!!! (pArt thrEE)

Queen ponders

Did Blade said all that to Rochelle's fiance to save his ego? What if he did not mean what he said? There were a lot of things that Blade had done which contradicted what he told Rochelle's fiance. A lot. It's simply ironic.

Blade was a mixed-blood

Blade was an Indian-Catholic. He had British blood running in his veins. He had hazel-brown eyes. He had wisdom. He had looks. He could have gotten another partner easily. But why did he choose to accept Queen back? Unless it was out of revenge, but how true could that be?

Queen kinda regret now

Queen was impulsive, isn't it? "We are through" seemed to be her pet-phrase. Now even if Queen were to want back the relationship that she had given up twice, how would Blade think of her? "When you want, you take. When you don't want, you throw. What is the meaning of this?" Blade will think like that. Definitely

Can anyone advise Queen what to do?

thE qUEEn trULy m|ssEs bLAdE!!! (pArt twO)

2005-05-11T00:40:00.000+08:00

thE qUEEn trULy mIssEs bLAdE!!! (pArt twO)

Blade wanted Queen back

Two days after the painful break up, Blade sent a long email to Queen. Queen read it.

"I will reconsider whether to start the relationship with you all over again."

"If you still treat me as your boyfriend I will still accept you back in my life."

"We can start anew if you are willing to take the step with me and don't look back anymore. "

Was Queen being stubborn or rational?

Queen decided to leave the past behind and led a single life. Though painful, she successfully pull through. (Or was it mere running away from reality, as what Blade always tells Queen?) Two months passed peacefully. It was February.

Rochelle still kept in touch Blade. (Or was it the other way round?)

Rochelle suddenly brought up the topic of Blade to Queen. She shared some things to Queen that started to set her thinking again about the relationship she had once put behind.

"Blade said before that he had wanted to ask you back a number of times."

"You are still on Blade's mind."

"Blade said that you are special to him."

Blade had never wanted the story to end, it was Queen who selfishly put a stop to everything.

Queen was almost torn apart

Queen gave a deep thought through the whole matter. She was getting very confused. No one could help her except herself. Whether to go back to the past or not, only she can decide. Queen was thrown into a dilemma. A part of her warned her about Blade's dishonesty, another told her deep in her heart she wanted Blade back also. She was almost torn apart.

Rochelle decided to help Queen take the first step

Rochelle called Blade up in mid February. She talked to Blade for a while, then passed the phone to Queen. Queen realised how much she actually missed Blade's voice. Throughout the conversation, Blade did not sound as though he wanted to patch back. (Or was he trying to hide, cuz of his ego?) They agreed to meet up again.

Reconciliation

Ya, they patched up. Went down together to Number 5.

"Why did you choose to return to me?"

Queen did not know how to answer, or rather, she did not know how to put her feelings in words.
She only knew that she had made a firm decision. She wanted to settle down with Blade.

Squabbles again

Somehow or rather, no matter how hard Queen tried (Blade probably also tried), they could not seem to be able to avoid a quarrel. Was it cuz of age gap? (9 years) Was it cuz of character? Queen was extremely bothered.

Rescue Queen, Rochelle

Queen called up Rochelle to seek comfort. Rochelle's fiance thought that Queen was very bothering. He decided to take matters into his own hands. He called Blade up. Asked him why Queen was bothering Rochelle. Here comes the shocking answer.

"I did not want her back. She came clinging onto me. She's too childish. I don't like her anymore."

Heart-broken Queen

Queen's heart was shattered. In a fit of anger, she smsed Blade.

"We are through."

"Fine."

"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over

It's not like we're dead

Was it something I did?

Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging

In a city so dead

Held up so high

On such a breakable thread

You were all the things

I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends

I know what they say

They tell you I'm difficult

But so are they

But they don't know me

Do they even know you?

All the things you hide from me

All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there

Thanks for acting like you cared

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Thanks for watching as I fall

And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2][x2]

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

To be continued . . .

thE qUEEn trULy m|ssEs bLAdE!!! (pArt OnE)

2005-05-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

thE qUEEn trULy mIssEs bLAdE!!! (pArt OnE)

Rochelle was asking Queen, "So do you still think of Blade sometimes?" "Ya." Queen honestly replied at smiling Rochelle.

Queen will never forget that fafeful day.

7th or 14th November 2004. Music Underground. Blade talked to Rochelle first. Queen just sat aside, feeling bored because she hated Music Underground's atmosphere. (Nothing beats NAB) She was in a foul mood also cuz she was not used to her 4-inched heels from Americaya and was suffering from leg pains. Queen decided to take them off. Later Queen talked to Claus. HKPK done. Bored again.

Blade approached and they talked. Blade gave Queen his home number cuz he did not have a hp yet at that time. Then, Queen and Rochelle left.

Queen will never forget what he said

Two days later, Queen decided to call Blade up, after much encouragement from Rochelle. Queen asked Blade, "What if I did not call you up?" "I'll go up to NAB to look for you on Saturday." (Blade knew that Queen hanged out there often.) Queen was truly touched.

Three days later, Queen and Blade got together.

Queen will never forget those days.

She finally fulfilled her dreams. Walking into NAB holding hands with her Prince Charming. It was an extremely wonderful night. Rochelle could see it. Queen was truly happy.

Queen almost got married

It was just like a fairy tale. Blade proposed to Queen only after two weeks of getting together. But Queen said no. (Only Rochelle knows why Queen said no, that kind of circumstance, how could she say yes?)

Friction began

Queen and Blade did not get along very well. Queen had a bad-temper. Blade was too harsh. They did not seem to be able to talk peacefully over the phone. Finally, Blade could not stand it anymore. He needed a break. So he lied to Queen, saying that he would be out of town for a few days. Queen had her suspicions but she did not confront Blade. He had refused to let her send him off.

Blade was in Singapore

On the day Blade "left", Queen received an sms from him. Queen replied. Blade replied. Strange, the replies came pretty fast. "He's overseas, how come the smses came in so fast?" Queen had a strong feeling that something was not right. Picking up courage, she decided to call Blade up. The ringing tone on the phone did not sound like the one called out to overseas. Blade picked up.

"You're in Singapore."

"No, I'm not."

"Don't lie, that ringing tone couldn't be wrong."

"I'll talk to you later."

And the line cut off.

Queen fumed with extreme anger. She would not take lies. She tried calling back, but Blade did not pick up.

Later, Blade smsed Queen, wanting to explain. Queen was too furious to listen to any explanation.

"We're through." Queen smsed.

End of fairy tale

The following day, Blade continued to sms Queen as though nothing had happened between them. To him, the story had not ended. Queen was soft-hearted and gave in to his pleas. They agreed to meet up for a movie. Queen looked forward to it.

Throughout the movie session, Queen paid little attention to the show. She kept thinking, "This man cannot be trusted. He knows mind games. No sense of security with him. When it's time to let go, gotta do it."

After the movie, Queen took a cab home alone. She made up her mind. She emailed Blade, this time for real. "End of story," she typed.

Aftermath

At first, Queen felt as though a heavy burden was off her shoulder. What's the point of staying in a relationship when it brings nothing but sadness? She did not know that the agony was just about to begin.

Queen struggled for at least a week to get over the whole matter. It was extreme agony. At times the feeling of regret was so strong that she felt like returning back to Blade. But no. When it's time to let go, gotta do it.

"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over

It's not like we're dead

Was it something I did?

Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging

In a city so dead

Held up so high

On such a breakable thread

You were all the things

I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]

You were everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were pretending

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends

I know what they say

They tell you I'm difficult

But so are they

But they don't know me

Do they even know you?

All the things you hide from me

All the shit that you do

You were all the things

I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there

Thanks for acting like you cared

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Thanks for watching as I fall

And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2][x2]

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

To Be Continued . . .

I LOVE KOGEPAN!!!

2005-05-02T10:37:00.000+08:00

I LOVE KOGEPAN

Guess all of you can see, yes! I've changed my blogskin from the previous yucky one into something sooo cuuute. Kogepan, that's it!!.

You can find out more about Kogepan by reading the story on my blog. My love started to develop for this burnt bun about 3 to 4 years ago, when the shop Giftland was still around (now we have Mini Toons and More Than Words, both of which I dislike). Once I went window-shopping with a friend. We passed by Giftland and saw this character through the glass windows. I found it so cute. You may think that I like the fresh buns, but no. I experienced love at first sight for the burnt one, and that is Kogepan. (But my friend said that it looked like shit to her, urghhh!!!) And after I heard about the Kogepan story, my love for it grew stronger cuz I found it so pitiful. The love continues until today..

You may be wondering where to post your comments now since there is no "comment" for you to click on. Just go to "Tag" and leave a message not more than 10 lines in my chatterbox.

Happy Me.

P/S:
A million thanks to Jarratt who inspired me to change my blogskin and his
advices on how to go about changing it. Arigato, Jarratt!!!

Hilarious EuroEnglish.. LOL !!!

2005-04-30T14:44:00.000+08:00

The following extract is taken from The New Paper dated 29th April 2005. I found it interesting and funny, so would like to share with fellow readers.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement under which English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter fewer.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and the "w" with "v".

During the fifz yar, unecesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer konbinations of leters.

After the fifz yar, ve wil hav a realy sensibl vriten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evryvun vil find it easy tu understand each ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

Personal comment on this article:

I found it funny, what about you? Well, if this change really happens one day, it will be good news to those who constantly faces spelling difficulties ( eg ex-student stephanie, and many of my current students .. haha ) . But to me, this change will not have much effect on me, only that I feel that human beings are once again trying to a way to so-called make life easier. Or is it simply worsening laziness?

Yawning Me

P/S: Happy 13th birthday to my dear Jarratt Ong!! ( happy now ? )

Starhub is not rubbishy actually.

2005-04-26T07:02:00.000+08:00

Jus reached home. Came back from Plaza Singapura. Had a talk with the Starhub people. They are not so rubbishy actually.

They didn't know about my phone loss, so they auto-terminated my line when no payment was received. Partly my fault lah.

But then, termination fee can be waived off and service can be reconnected within 3 months. Hmmm.. I'll pay up next month ba.

Happy me.

Rubbishy Starhub !!!

2005-04-25T23:41:00.000+08:00

Beginning March, I went to clear part of my phone bill. Two days later, I realised that I could not sms or call out. I call up Starhub to find out. I was told that I have to clear the remaining 200+ of outstanding bill (which in the bill was not stated as to be paid immediately) then they will reactivate the service. I promised to pay up by that week so they agreed to reactivate the service first.

Mid March, I lost my phone. At that time, I had not cleared the outstanding bill. I was thinking, " Since they are going to cut off the service in a day or two, I don't think there's a need to let them know I lost my phone and tell them to deactivate my service for precautions (in case the idiotic thief who stole my phone anyhow used my card).

So for the rest of March, I did not have any phone to use. Obviously I also did not use Starhub services.

This went on until now. I just received a starhub bill. It says that I have 100+ of outstanding bill to be cleared ( I thought it was 200+???). Plus I have to pay up a termination charge of $500 (I guess they mean terminating the contract). HUH ???

First of all, I have NEVER said that I want to terminate the Starhub line. I have used Starhub services in 2001 and 2002 before. At that time, there was an occasion whereby I had not paid the phone bill for close to 3 months. Indeed I received reminder letters and warning letters (stating that they will terminate the service if payment is not made.) But this time round, NO reminder letters whatsoever.

Secondly even if I want to terminate I guess I should be asked to sign something to acknowledge the termination. NOTHING lor. It's just like all of a sudden, Starhub says, "Hey, you are terminated. " After just owing a months plus's bill. Is Starhub desperate or something?

I am extremely furious with Starhub now. I will go down to their service branch to talk things out. Wish me good luck.

Angered me.

Xiaxue's recent post is A-T-R-O-C-I-O-U-S !!!

2005-04-19T02:45:00.000+08:00

Maybe because I am a Christian, I get extremely offended as I read her most recent post in her blog.

I do agree that the pastor's focus in the funeral should not be evangelising. I also feel that it's up to anyone's free will to put their faith in any religion they think is logical to them.

But then, as I read on, I start to fume with anger. The way she phrases the post is as though Christianity is total rubbish and only a fool will believe in God. Simply atrocious!!!

She has every right to feel that the pastor did not conduct the funeral well, but NO right to criticise on the religion. For that, she has gone overboard. Simply atrocious!!!

She said this, "I urge the people leaving comments to be sensitive to both JW's family and friends, as well as Christians reading this.There is no need to be harsh or rude if you want your opinion heard. Anything too rude, I will delete."

To Xiaxue: Well, I find your post too rude, can I delete that? Who are you to judge if others are rude when you yourself is rude. Look at the tremendous amount of vulgarities you use in your blog. For that I have to urge all my students NOT to read your blog cuz I don't want them to be badly influenced.

Obviously, Xiaxue only wants to hear from people who post comments that sound nice to her ears. She doesn't want to face the fact that there are others that hold opposite views to hers, simply because she is running away from it. I despise people who refuse to hear both sides of a story because there will be one side that contradicts theirs. They cannot accept the fact that they are subconciously convinced by opposing views so they don't wish to hear further. They do not wish to be stranded in a dilemma.

Never mind, I always tell myself that Xiaxue is still young. She has never gone through much hardship to nurture her to be more mature.

To Xiaxue again:

You do not know God. Even I may not know Him well. Everyday we are made to suffer although God claims that He loves us and that He should not make us suffer. But because we are just creations of God, just simple human beings. We will NEVER have enough wisdom to understand what God is trying to do to us. We cannot use humane thinking and analysis to judge on God's actions.

The only thing we can do is : Trust Him.

God bless you

Angered Me.

m|ss|ng thOsE dAyZ .. |t w|LL nv bE thE sAmE AgA|n.. why wAs 幽灵 |n my drEams???

2005-04-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

Missing those days:

Rochelle should know what I mean. Really misses them badly. But can never return to the past though. It will never be the same as before. Sigh.. sigh.. sigh..

What was 幽灵 doing in my dreams???

I have not a single idea leh. Why why why???

Note to myself:

Cheer up lah.. stay happy k? Gotta gam-ba-tei leh !!!

Regards,

Confused Me

Gam-Ba-Tei-Neh !!!

2005-04-15T01:14:00.000+08:00

Recently I have been busy. SNGS project lor. Well, just gotta tell myself to stay happy and continue to gam-ba-tei for the next 1 month plus ba.

Cheers!

With regard, baoxian.

Potential bone marrow donor?

2005-04-09T16:35:00.000+08:00

2 days ago I received a call. It was something like this...

"Hi, we are calling from the bone marrow centre. Do you remember when you were in ACJC in 1999, you did a blood test with us? We have discovered your blood sample matches with one of our patients. So are you still willing to make a donation?"

This first feeling I got after hearing all that was.. wow! I can get to save someone's life. Genuinely happy. But then there was also fear. The fear of pain. I heard that they drill a hole from the back of the pelvic bone. Draw out the bone marrow under general anesthesia. The whole process takes about 45 minutes to an hour.

Well, I guess I will go for it. I have not give my reply to the person who called me though. I just need some time to get mentally prepared. So friends out there, do give me your fullest support.

God bless.

2005-04-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

These are some of the tools used to drill a cavity to draw out the bone marrow.

2005-04-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

Here is how the bone marrow is extracted, right from the pelvic bone.

Takuya Kimura Levis Ad

2005-04-05T13:42:00.000+08:00

Takuya Kimura Levis Ad

Cool huh? =)
_____________

I'm going B-O-N-K-E-R-S !!!

Urghhh.. impossible task lah.. siao already. Breaking world record or something??? Face the fact lah, we dun need more people to help. We just need more time. Should have clinched the project earlier mahzz. :(

Bad day.. Hope for a better one tomorrow. ( To myself : Hey, face the fact lah.. this is gonna go on for at least 2 months leh.. :( )

UUURRRGGGHHH!!!

A Very Happy April Fool's Day to all the FOOLS in this FOOLISH world.

2005-04-02T02:50:00.000+08:00

A Very Happy April Fool's day.

To all the fools out there, it's your big day. Not bad huh, a day picked in the calendar specially dedicated to you people. Have a great day ahead.

Lots of things to say

2005-03-31T17:52:00.000+08:00

It's gonna a long post. Lots of things to say...

About work:

Looks like my workload is gonna increase tremendously in no time. We had just accepted a major school project from SNGS. Briefly speaking, it's about coming up with a booklet of problem sums with detailed solutions and explanations for P5 & 6 students. I'm doing up the P5 booklet. Gotta do that out of working hours cuz it's extra work, of cuz with an extra income. Anyway I also won't have time to do it during work. :P

About Rochelle:

Seems like she's missing her happy days (with me) last year. Which means she is less happy now. Which shouldn't be the case. Come on, she's getting engaged coming May. Supposedly. Her fiance has been quite "yi shen yi gui" for quite some time already. For instance, when someone calls her, he always suspect it's some other guy... ( you know what I mean lor) He checks on her msn history and questions her about the chats she had. (Why must he bring up HISTORY? Shouldn't he focus on NOW and FUTURE? His such "xiao dong zuo"s has been making Rochelle very unhappy. Probably out of impulse, she even packed up her stuff and intended to look for me (probably for refuge from the unhappiness she has been undergoing).

My personal comments:

I feel that I have every right to voice out comments so here they are. When two people are together, one of the two utmost important aspects are namely trust and sincerity. Which I find that her fiance had put into the relationship, but not enough. If he can't trust Rochelle fully, why does he even choose to be with her at all? If he has put in enough sincerity, what explains his "xiao dong zuo"s? I knew he was betrayed by his ex-girlfriend now, but does it mean that Rochelle has the responsibility to carry the burden of his past? Well, Rochelle has every responsibility to be understanding to all his actions, but that is if his actions are not getting overboard. Since he has chosen to be with Rochelle, or even intending to marry her, then he should bring in happiness to her life. He has to put the past behind and move on life with her. If he still continues to be "yi shen yi gui" because of his past, then he is being very unfair to Rochelle.

My personal advices to this fiance:

Remember, whatever actions you do affects not one but TWO people now. Do you even realise that your "yi shen yi gui" has been bringing a lot of upset to the girl you love? Is this the way to love? Can you imagine how you will feel if she is doing the same thing that you have been doing to her? How do you think you will feel? Don't expect her to be always understanding to your actions while you are not being understanding to her feelings when you are doing the same actions.

Even if she was not frank to you about the gender of whoever calls her up, can you blame her? Think of your reaction when she is, "Oh, a guy." Ultimate jealousy emerges followed by anger probably. She knows you will react in this way, but do you think she wishes to see that kind of reaction, which is unnecessary totally. Why that reaction? Because you still can't bring yourself to trust her fully? What has she done to deserve that distrust from you?

Always remember, whenever she has done something wrong, don't just blame her for not thinking and scold her for the mistakes made. Ask yourself ( not ask her) carefully why she has done that. You may be surprised that you may be the reason she made the mistake. I always tell her, and now I am telling you this also, don't blame when a problem appears, think carefully the reason why the mistake was made.

My friendship with Rochelle:

That is not something any Tom, Dick or Harry can understand. Maybe only the two of us understand. I can't say that I know her 100 percent well, but at least I am confident to say that I know her best compared to anyone else in her life (except herself) right now. We went through thick and thin in the four years we know each other and I think there's still a lot that we have to overcome bravely together, just to keep the friendship intact. Well, if me and Rochelle can put in so much effort just to keep the friendship going, I don't see why her fiance cannot do more than me to keep the relationship going.

Finally...

Well, good luck to the both of you. My best wishes to the two of you. Please understand that I'm not trying to be nosy or destructive to the two of you. I hope you can see that I am trying to help because I want to see a good and fruitful future for the two of you. My best wishes to the two of you once again. Bye for now.

testing 123

2005-03-29T08:40:00.000+08:00

Well folks, this is posted just for testing purpose. :)

happy b'dae to I-L-L-O-G-I-C-A-L-I-S-M

2005-03-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

Today is grand hatchday of I-L-L-O-G-I-C-A-L-I-S-M.. yay!!!

Ermm.. hehe.. too happy already.. dunno wat to say. Well, hopefully I-L-L-O-G-I-C-A-L-I-S-M will nurture and grow as days come by. Anyway, feel free to read it, post comments on it, think about it, but dun become illogical after all that.

I guess that's all for today, folks. Have a wonderful day ahead